we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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