I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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