I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
