I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love you. Go after that dick
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