Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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