she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
