She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
