Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
