Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
