ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
