Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
