Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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