He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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