Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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