I need to stop coming to work sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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