Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize