all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
