Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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