how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO