I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.