we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together