Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.