who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize