Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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