Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize