Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
