come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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