I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
