I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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