is your mom at the bar?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize