Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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