Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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