I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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