Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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