The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
