So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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