Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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