It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize