What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
