Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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