Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize