I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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