He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
