Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
