they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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