she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
