Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
