Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
