I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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