I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
