I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
