i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
