I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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