GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
