she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize