gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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