Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize