I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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