All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
