I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
