I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
