when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No subtext here. People are naked.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
