i already hear my dad disowning me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
