I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who died my cat blue again?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
