I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
